Therapy

What is relational transactional analysis (TA)?

Relational TA brings together the following schools of therapy:

Psychodynamics - how what went on in the past can have an effect on your current life
Cognitive behavioural - managing problems by changing the way you think and behave
Humanistic - the process of realizing and expressing ones own personal power to change

Relational TA analyses the transactions (hence ‘transactional analysis’) or interactions between people or persons to understand their behaviour better. In looking at how the client interacts with the therapist, Relational TA encourages self-awareness and personal empowerment to heal from a crisis, a particular issue; or if you simply want to find out more about yourself / yourselves. It can help with being stuck in self-defeating behaviours we use as a defence against difficulties in our past.

What is the point of therapy?

Put simply; the point of therapy is to become more self aware about how negative behaviours have an impact on your life, so that you can change them and heal.

When we are self-aware, we can see past wounds and how those wounds affect how we behave in everyday life (psychodynamics). We can see that the patterns we orchestrate in relationships come from a result of the unhelpful habits we have picked up along the way - habits which we think help us deal with life but in fact cause us problems and pain.

How does sitting in a room with a stranger help with becoming self-aware?

Trained therapists have worked on themselves and their skill; they have undergone substantial personal therapy, they are supervised by a professional, and have developed the capacity to listen and be reflective.

Through this kind of relationship, the therapist can act as a mirror and facilitator to the client, enabling him or her to become more aware of negative patterns of thinking, feeling and behaviour.

So how will this help me?

Once the trust has been built up, the client tends to repeat their default patterns of relating (known as transference) with the therapist. Because the therapist is trained to observe and be reflective about this, this gives the client the opportunity to gain self-awareness and resolve past emotional problems that are affecting their current life. They can then take this new awareness back outside into their everyday lives.

Why should I go to therapy?

Coming to therapy is a very special thing to be able to do. It is something I feel should be open to all, which is why I offer some slots on a concessionary basis. I feel it is an honour and a privilege to do the job that I do, because I can see the change in people who are willing to come back week after week despite their heads (and maybe their demons) telling them otherwise.

We develop and build a relationship built on attachment and trust, learning about ourselves in the process. This has the potential to dismantle defences, little by little. We go at the client's pace.

Psychotherapy enables us to see that we can do something different to get something different, and make different decisions about our lives and those in them (cognitive behavioural). It is then we can ‘achieve personal power’ because we know we have the ability to change, and act in a different way (humanistic). When we know ourselves we are empowered and achieve self-love, which in turn means we are able to love those around us. We cannot love something that we do not know, after all.

There are no guarantees, but clients can expect to become empowered with heightened self-awareness, and free from the chains of their past. This takes work and dedication, but the results can transform lives and relationships.

I thoroughly recommend making this investment in yourself and / or your relationship / family.

What can you offer me/us and why should I/we trust you?

I offer a confidential and professional service from a skilled professional who has gone through the rigours of training and worked on their own issues. I have a large capacity to listen, and have treated a wide spectrum of people in a compassionate and empathic manner, with a broad range of issues.

I have never told anyone what I might tell you. Can I tell you anything?

You can literally tell me anything.

Is there pressure to carry on once I/we have started?

Not at all. We will meet for an initial session with no pressure to continue if you decide that therapy and/or how I work is not for you.

How will we work together?

If we do decide to continue working together, we will select an available slot that suits you and one that we can hopefully stick to every week. I see clients weekly and for either 50 minutes for individuals, and longer for couples.

What then?

We will focus on you and what causes you difficulties in your life, or what you are curious about. I will focus on the most accurate information, which is the relationship I can observe between you and me. I will often ask you: ‘what is going on between us?’ or: ‘what is going on for you right now when I ask you that question?’ This in turn helps to address what is going on with your relationship with others – the lion’s share of human suffering and difficulty, and what I see more of in the therapy room than anything else.

Can I see you outside the therapy room?

I am impartial, I do not work with people I previously know or am associated with. There is no previous history with the client and no relationship outside the room, which means the client receives a unique insight from a neutral person, instead of the unintentional and unavoidable biases that their friends and family might give them. This is why it is important to keep our relationship purely to the therapy room. In a place like Ibiza it is inevitable that we shall see each other in the street, supermarket, etc. However, we will keep it to just saying a polite hello, or I will not acknowledge you at all if you would prefer that.

I/we are in crisis – can you help?

Yes, I can help and provide support in a crisis. We would set about exploring: what steps can you take to start absolving the crisis and get your life back under control. What can we plan to do for the future so that this crisis is not repeated? Where has this crisis come from?

Generally – life isn’t great right now – can you help?

Yes, I can help you explore this issue. Perhaps there is no particular reason why you feel sad, depressed or angry – or you just feel at a loss. This is totally understandable and something we can explore, too. I will enquire about you, your history, and your life, and see if we can start to make sense of where these emotions are coming from, and how we might be able to move forward from them.

What issues do you work with?

I work across a broad range of issues, including:

ADHD
Affairs and betrayals
Alcoholism
Anger management
Anorexia nervosa
Antisocial personality disorder
Anxiety
Asperger's syndrome
Attachment disorder
Avoidant personality disorder
Bereavement
Binge-eating disorder
Bipolar disorder/Manic depression
Body dysmorphic disorder
Borderline personality disorder
Bulimia nervosa
Bullying
Cancer
Career
Carer support
Child related issues
Chronic fatigue syndrome/ME
Chronic pain
Compulsive hoarding
Couples issues
Cross cultural relationships
Debt

Dementia
Dependent personality disorder
Depression
Disabilities
Dissociation
Domestic violence
Drug abuse
Eating disorders
EDNOS
Emotional abuse
Family issues
Gambling
Gender dysphoria
Generalised anxiety disorder
Hearing voices
Histrionic personality disorder
HIV/AIDS
Infertility
Internet addiction
Learning difficulties
Leaving care
Living organ donation
Low self-confidence
Low self-esteem
Miscarriage
Narcissistic personality disorder
Obsessive compulsive disorder
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder

Panic disorder
Paranoid personality disorder
Passive aggressive behaviour
Personality disorders
Phobias
Physical abuse
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Postnatal depression
Pre-nuptial counselling
Pregnancy and birth
Psychosis
Redundancy
Relationship issues
Schizoid personality disorder
Schizophrenia
Schizotypal personality disorder
Seasonal affective disorder
Self harm
Separation and divorce
Sex addiction
Sex problems
Sexual abuse
Sexuality
Smoking
Spirituality
Stress
Suicidal thoughts
Terminal illness